This post is also available in: French
Here is my article on those that we call Hunters of Gaijin in Japan. These Japanese women looking for foreigners, for the love of all or a day.
There a little over two weeks ago, I published my article “Japanese girls hunters,” in which I described a behavior of some foreigners. This article has created a lot of reactions. At the time of writing this new article, the hunters of Japanese was commented over 150 times and shared more than 200 times on social networks (facebook, twitter, google +) and read thousands of times.
Today, I propose, therefore the second part of this article. As many have noted, it takes two to play this kind of games. In the first article, I talked about the foreign boys who come to Japan to dredge some Japanese girls. Today, I focus therefore on Japanese girls looking for foreigners.
In addressing this issue, I suggest you make a point about certain customs in Japan and then to differentiate between two categories of Japanese girls looking for foreigners. Finally I conclude with a portrait to illustrate this article.
Marriage customs in Japan and modern life
Japan is a very traditional country where customs are still deeply rooted in everyday life, despite the fact that many changes are “forced” by Western culture. Marriage is no exception to that.
In Japan it is known that a girl has to marry rather young to start a family and to ensure the continuity of it. For many, it is called the age of 25 as the age limit for marriage for a girl. I happened to hear the often quoted “a girl of 26 years is like a Christmas cake on Dec. 26, it’s outdated.” This is pretty hard as a phrase, but it is often the facts.
For others, the age limit for marriage to a Japanese girl is 30 years. They must be married, in theory, with the fateful age. Besides, if you have the opportunity to read the book Tokyo Vice by Jack Adelstein, he talks about his meeting with his wife. For the anecdote, he tells us that his wife told him “OK, we go out together, but we must get married before my 30th birthday.” Eventually they married in the last days of his wife 29 years.
So as you understand there an age limit for marriage to be well regarded in Japanese society. But that confronts the current reality and modern.
Indeed, the behavior in Japan tend to change, particularly at young people who are increasingly influenced by the western world. This leads to different perceptions and behaviors related to different love relationships. Moreover, a study by the Japan Family Planning Association in 2011 shows that:
- 36% of young men aged 16 to 19 say they are disinterested in sex and relationships (+19% since 2008)
- 59% of girls aged 16 to 19 say they are disinterested in sex and relationships (12% since 2008).
This is because young Japanese women describe men as herbivores. They mean by that they are weak men. They say they want men who act like men.
As for boys, they say that building a relationship is too complicated and it takes work. They even say they do not want to abandon everything they loved to do before just to seduce a girl.
Finally, new technologies, virtual girlfriends and virtual life in a virtual world take a lot of time to these young Japanese men.
All this, and also sometimes the macho behavior of some Japanese men (who believe that women must stay home and take care of the family) will push some Japanese women to look elsewhere, with Gaijin. They will split into two categories.
Japanese women seeking Gaijin, but not being hunters
This first category is one that will contain Japanese girls of all ages seeking to develop a relationship with a foreigner, for a serious relationship and sustainable.
As I mention in my article titled The Gaijin Complex, these girls do not want to be confined to the role of housewife and looking for people who can be real gentlemen with them. For these girls, Japanese men, in their majority, can not offer them that.
For other girls, I explain the phenomena above (age limit for marriage, weakness of Japanese young men) drive them to go elsewhere and look, for what they do not find at home, in foreign communities.
These girls are serious, seek normal love relationships in which they can build a family, love their husbands, have children and have the freedoms they feel they can not have with a Japanese husband.
Finally, there remains a sub-category, which corresponds to the girls a little more desperate. They are not the most numerous, but they are girls who can not find true love and have often exceeded the age limit for marriage. Not knowing what to do, they turn to foreigners to get out of this situation and be better accepted by Japanese society.
I also faced this category of persons. When I arrived in Japan in May 2011, I received an invitation from a company organizing speed dating for Japanese women looking for foreign men. What surprised me is the fact that it was free for men. I went there out of curiosity more than anything else. During this event, I found that all these girls were over 30 years and were single for years. Many of them seemed really desperate and willing to take everything that occurred to them. One thing that surprised me at the time, but I understood the reasons over time.
The hunters of Gaijin
This second category speaks about Japanese girls seeking for foreign men to use them, manipulate them, enjoy and dispose of them as they are useless. These are not the most numerous, but the most visible because they show themselves to the eyes of the Gaijin.
These girls go in the parties, flirt openly with the Gaijin and use them to get paid what they want, get gifts, and even travel for some of them, and finally separate from their love of one day when she find better elsewhere. These are often those who seek hunters of Japanese girls because they know that they spend money for them.
Moreover, very often these girls believe that foreigners are submissive because for them gentlemen means a person who does what you want. They often think that these men can be used as they see fit. However, they soon realize that this is not the case.
These girls are venal and seek in priority people to pay for them. Very often, in conversation, they will ask you what is your work and what are your incomes. These are not innocent questions.
These girls are often seen in Roppongi, in the evening, in nightclubs where they will drive out and hunt for some Gaijin, who will do the same. They also use other methods such as language exchange (although this is rare).
Here is a story that had happened in June 2011. On a Japanese advertising site I found an ad whose title was “looking for a French person for language exchange in French – Japanese.” For me it was the chance to learn Japanese for free while teaching French to a person. Furthermore, it allowed me to meet someone. I always do that in all countries where I traveled.
So I answered to the ad. The person answered back. She answered in an e-mail telling me who she was and what she did for a living (passions, work …). She then asked me to do the same. I introduced myself and told him I was doing a world tour since November 2009. She then said “sorry but my boyfriend has to have a real job and good pay. Goodbye “.… I remember I answered an ad for language exchange!!!
Portrait of Koyo
To illustrate what are the hunters of Gaijin, I offer a portrait of Koyo, a Japanese girl I met in Tokyo. For reasons of respect for her privacy, her identity elements have been changed.
I try to put myself in her mind and give you her thoughts:
“Hello, my name is Koyo, I’m 29 and I’m Japanese. I am a girl who dreams of living in New Yorkbecause I think it’s the most beautiful city in the world to live. For me the foreigners are better than the Japanese because they are submissive and do everything to please us.
For me, the ideal is a good American, well muscled and speaks good English. He must make a good living so I do not go to work. After all, this is the man to pay for everything. He will fill me with gifts, serve me, make me happy and think of my happiness. His own happiness is not important, but mine YES.
For me the Americans are the best because they are the ones who made us discover the freedom of life and thatJapanwas a backward country.
I want to get married before my 30th birthday, no matter with whom as long as he is as a Gaijin and he earns good money and he fills me with gifts. “
As you will understand, this girl is venal, unscrupulous and especially self-centered. She thinks that Gaijin are toys at her disposal for use as it sees fit.
Besides these girls think, very often, that living in the U.S. is a must, especially in Los Angeles or New York. God knows why!!!
I met this girl, who really exists and that kept telling me this speech without any remorse, 2 or 3 times. In April 16, 2012, she sent me a message to take some news from me. I told her that I was going back to France and here what she send me back (word for word):
“Oh really? i maybe miss you. i can see you at the love hotel around shinjyuku by your treating”.
When I read that, I was surprised. Surprised by the message content, surprised by the proposal and surprised by the fact that she was expecting me to pay for this kind of thing. I did not answer that because it is indecent, inappropriate and disrespectful. To add, this girl had a boyfriend at that time. Here is what is a hunter of Gaijin in Japan.
And you what do you think? Have you faced this kind of person? Have you experienced situations of this kind or another? Go ahead and let you express me your opinion.